Things I Learned/Confirmed in Vegas Last Weekend

1. I enjoy Vegas more when I have a job.

2. NASCAR fans are not my people.

3. The noisier the slot machine the better – I want everyone to know the little blue fish lined up and I won three whole dollars.

4. Strapless shirts are not for everyone.

5. Wayne Brady is damn skinny.

6. Buffets never work out in the end.

7. A giant fountain and a gust of wind does not make for a pretty result on a chilly March evening.

8. NASCAR fans are not my people.

9. My attention span for Roulette is about an hour.

10. When a cab driver begins a sentence with, “I’m not trying to be a racist here…” the next words out of his mouth will offend most sensible people and make for an uncomfortable ride.

11. Mid-westerners care a lot about school fight songs. A lot.

12. A tiki bar is a good thing. Always.

13. Everyone CAN go braless. Not everyone SHOULD.

14. NASCAR fans are not my people.

15. Drunken NASCAR fans hate Canada.

16. I appreciate New York’s anti-smoking laws far more than I thought I did.

17. Dolphins are cool.

18. No matter how far I get in life or my available credit, I will never feel like I belong in certain stores.

19. My hair does not appreciate the desert.

20. Oxygen bars make the nose tickle and the neck burn.

21. I never want to stay at Fitzgerald’s again.

22. To the guys with the cards on the street, I apparently look like the kind of girl who might enjoy a prostitute.

23. NASCAR fans are not my people.

24. 24 is a good number. At least for Flarf.

25. I do like tequila after all, provided it’s the good stuff.

26. I am uncomfortable dropping $50-$100 at a gaming table, but not buying $150 dollars worth of crap I don’t need.

27. If the hotel promises a cot, the don’t really mean it and couldn’t care less if the pregnant woman has to sleep on a chair or three to a bed.

28. Just because you’re able to force the zipper closed, doesn’t make it your size.

29. It’s best to double check the volume of the alarm clock BEFORE you slumber. There’s awake…and there’s cardiac incident.

30. I am apparently not young enough or cool enough to understand why velour tracksuits are a good look for anyone under 70.

31. NASCAR fans are not my people.

32. Airport food service workers are baffled by cash registers.

33. I can easily kill half and hour people watching and making snarky comments to my companions. More if I have a tasty drink and my feet hurt too much to move.

34. Guiness soothes the tummy better than most pills.

35. Airplane peanut bags are childproof.

And did I mention, NASCAR fans are really not my people.

All said and done, a good vacation. Next, however, we will choose to go on a weekend that does not involve a big car race. :-)